Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Remembering Wonka with British Candy


Discover a world of pure imagination. After the sad passing of Gene Wilder, most of us had a moment remembering our favorite scenes from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I was no exception. Tim Burton can suck my EverlastingGobstopper, there was only ONE WONKA. Now it's true, I'm probably the worst of the Fat Guys for trying out new snack treats on the market. But my friends took me to an Irish store, which had two huge aisles of British candy and other treats... and I'm here to say: The Candyman Can!


Let's get the easy ones out of the way. Yorkie and the Dairymilk Bars were straight up chocolate bars. UK chocolate is just better. I love Hershey and wouldn't dare badmouth them. But even as a lad, I loved going to Grandma's house, because she had the Cadbury... and that was always special. Now the Cadbury Shorties are shortbread cookies with one side painted in chocolate. They're decent but not as good as I'd hoped. (If you're familiar with UK treats, McVittie's are better).


But the Cadbury shortcake SNACK! is exactly what I was looking for. It's somewhat similar to Keebler Fudge Grahams, without the graham flavor... ish. I mean, I know these were just "shortcake" but they had more flavor than just butter cookie with chocolate... and oh that Cadbury chocolate. Mmm...



The Double Decker is described as "milk chocolate with a soft nougat and a crispy cereal bottom" so I wasn't sure what exactly cereal they meant. It's similar to a milky way bar but with rice crispies and more chocolate. It definitely was nice, but won't be my go-to the next time I stock up.


For a palette cleanser, I had to try something fruity...


If you've ever wanted sour patch kids without the sour, then Jelly Tots are for you. Sugary and chewy, these tasty little treats can be crammed down your candy-hole by the fist full. No wonder the British are known for bad teeth... remember to brush, because these little suckers will about as far from your teeth as Mike TV is from his cowboy costume.


And last, but oh certainly not least, the star of my little shopping trip to the candy store...


Cadbury Choc Chip Cookies... lord help me.


There is nothing to say. Do you still need convincing? REALLY? They are exactly what you think they are. They are Chips Ahoy cookies with GODDAMN CADBURY CHOCOLATE CHIPS exploding through them. They are magic. No store bought cookie will stand up to these, no chocolate chip ones anyway. Pepperidge Farm? Put out to pasture. Chips Ahoy? Sunk. My only complaint? There's only 12 cookies per package. Three round bays, each with a stack of 4 cookies. So really, I just wish I had bought a few of these cookies because sadly over the course of a couple days, they left my life as whimsically as they entered it.

If you think that any chocolate treats, cookies, candies, whatever beat out the Cadbury crew... I have only one thing left to say:


RIP Gene Wilder... you will never be forgotten, you will be celebrated.


Review by David James, who died doing what he loved, drinking from a chocolate river.

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